Devin Says...

Just a place to jot down the amusing things Devin says




July 2014
Devin didn't say this...but his friend said it about Devin and myself and I thought it was funny.

As we were leaving the pool. Devin's friends says "your and Devin's skin is kinda black but more brown. I kinda like it."

May 2014
Today for homework we read a book titled "My Mom is great."  Throughout the book the boy told how great his mom was. He went on and on about how his mom must have had magic powers because she was so good at everything (cooking, cleaning, finding things, taking care of the kids, etc). At the end of the book, Devin looks right at me and tells me "You aren't good at any of those things."

January 2014
Dad. If I had one wish it would be for your mom to be alive again.

September 2013
I want to be a nanny when I grow up because taking care of kids is easy.

September 2013
I want you to adopt a baby for my birthday.

August 2013
(After Jared made him go to his room for not listening)
I'm not talking to Dad for the rest of my life!

August 2013
Adalynn (yelling from the other room) "Thanks for lunch mom!"
Devin: No Adalynn. That is not how you do it. You tell her thanks for lunch and everything you do. Then you give her a hug and a kiss.

August 2013
I want to get married on the lake. On a jet ski. And all my guests are going to wear their underwear.

April 2013
Devin walks into the bathroom where I am getting ready, and tells me "You look horrible."

April 2013
This was a conversation after Devin told me he wanted Josh to get married.
Devin: Why doesn't anyone want him? Don't they know he is famous. He was on tv.

April 2013
Devin: Mom are the Ninja Turtles in the movie museum (aka the wax museum)
Me: No
Devin: WHY? They are like the most famous movie ever.

March 2013
During a hair cut
Jared: Devin do you want a mullet.
Devin: I would love a mullet
...after Jared gave him his mullet
Devin: Cut it off now! I don't want to look like an idiot at school tomorrow.

October 2012
(To me)
"This pizza is amazing!" 

October 2012 
(To Jared) When mom sees what you did to me, she won't love you anymore! 
(Back story---Devin unwrapped some of my tampons and was using them as nun chucks so Jared put him in his room. Devin "claimed" Jared pushed him over and gave him a carpet burn). 

September 2012 
We have the lamest house in the whole neighborhood. 

September 2012 
(To me) I like when you are sick because you don't bother with me. 

August 2012 
I was feeding Lyla yogurt then accidentally dropped it, and it got all over my pants and the floor. 
Me: Oh no! 
Devin starts laughing hysterically
Me: That was NOT funny. 
Devin: It was pretty funny to me. 

August 2012
After Jared dunked him in the pool
"Not cool, dude!" 

August 15, 2012
After walking into the kitchen to find Lyla sitting in a huge puddle of water. 
Me: Oh no!
Devin (from the other room): What?! Did you pee your pants?

August 15, 2012
 In the car. Eating doritos
Me: These are my favorite chips.
Devin: Well, you don't hear that every day. 
  
August 2012
Today Devin bought a movie with his allowance. After putting it in the DVD player, he told it "Hurry up. I paid good money for you." 


July 2012 
"Can we go to Hawaii? I hear is it really good for resting." 


July 2012 
"Mom if you give me a brother I will never fight with Adalynn again." 


June 2012 
I asked Lyla today, "How did you get soooo cute!" Devin answered, "I taught her." 


June 2012 
Today I found Lyla playing with Devin in his room (he takes her out of the crib in the morning and plays with her every once in a while). I went into the room and told them "Okay. I'm going to take Lyla and feed her." Devin said, "But Lyla is having a good time." He then asked, "Do you really want to ruin the best day of her life?" 


June 2012 
"Mom. I have bad news
...
...
Lyla has a poopy diaper." 

June 2012 
Devin was leaving out the front door to throw something in the garbage. Jared told him not to leave (the garbage cans were already on the curb). He told Jared he was going to throw something away and left anyways, and when he came back, Jared asked why he left right after he told him not to. Devin replied, "Dad. What don't you understand about "I am going to throw something in the garbage can?"

June 2012 
After giving me a wet willie. 
"You earned it."

June 2012
After getting in trouble. 
"Dad. I will love you forever. Even if you get mad at me."
Isn't that so sweet. I just about died when Jared told me he said that. 


May 2012 
Devin has been asking for an ipad. He asked me why Johnny and Josy have an ipad and we don't. I told him we had three kids and kids are expensive and that is why we didn't have one. He told me "Well you should have bought an ipad before you had kids." 

2012
The other night after I told Devin I was going on a date with Jared He told me I needed to put some makeup on so I would be pretty for my date. 


Christmas 2011
Devin wanted this really expensive lego set for Christmas from Santa. I told him I thought it was just too expensive. He was like, "Mom. Santa's elves can just make me one." 

2011
"I was really good at school today. I held my breath the whole time."  

2011
In the car
Adalynn: I'm going to marry Ne Nin when I grow up. 
Devin: No you're not. You can't even say my name right.

2011
Today I was having one of those days. I wasn't feeling well, the kids were horrible, Lyla was fussy. After Addie made a huge mess with the puzzles, I just started crying. Devin told me, "Stop being a crybaby." 


August 2011
The other night we were out chatting with our neighbors who had a baby about a month before me. As we were walking away and still in ear shot. 
Devin: They have a baby too.
Me: Yeah. She is cute. 
Devin: Not as cute as our baby!


July 2011
To Lyla "You are a real sweetheart!"


June 2011
While visiting me in the hospital after I had Lyla. 
"Mom. Last night Dad took us to Taco Bell and they have soft tacos and hard tacos. And mom. They were better than yours!"


2011
"Mom. What kind of cookies did Dad buy from those bunny scouts?" He calls them bunny scouts because that is what they are called on Max and Ruby. 


2011
Devin was asking me to play star wars with him. I asked him if I could be Princess Leia. He laughed and told me, "No you can be Jabba." 

January 30, 2011
What I woke up to Sunday morning
"Make me pancakes this instant!" 


January 24, 2011
While watching the Wizard of Oz (for the first time). 
Mom. When are we going to see the lion? And the Robot? 


January 23, 2011 
Mom. You're the best! 


January 22, 2011
Devin: Dad I want to cut off all my hair like Uncle Josh 
Jared: I don't know if mom would like that. 
Devin: We can just do it after she goes to bed. 



Sometime last year (2010)
Devin: Mom. I'm going outside. 
Me: No. Not right now. I have to watch you. 
Devin: I keep an eye on myself. Okay?!
Also sometime last year...
After opening the front door (which included the dead bolt and latch). 
Me: Do not open the door!
Devin: The wind opened it!


January 9, 2010 
Devin: Mom, I have to tell you something...you have beautiful eyes! 



December 2010
Me: Devin, do you think Mom is going to have a baby boy or a baby girl. 
Devin: A boy. 
Me: Why do you think that? 
Devin: Because that is what it looks like in the picture (referring to my 6 week ultrasound picture, which by-the-way looks like a blob or smudge but not a baby boy)
I think later he told me the baby was also wearing a hat in the ultrasound photo. 


December 23, 2010
Devin was decorating stockings with my sister Steph and they were using cookie cutters to trace objects onto his stocking (a christmas tree, star, etc). 
Devin: (Picking up a heart cookie cutter), Lets do this one. 
Me: No, hearts aren't really Christmas-y
Devin: Yes they are. Christmas is about loving everyone! 
Owwwww!!


Novemberish 2010 
Me: I think I need to throw up. 
D: So throw up already. 
(Thanks for the sympathy, buddy)


November 30, 2010
After asking me a few times to help him draw a picture. 
Mom! You do it for me, I'll be happy. 
You not do it for me, I'll be grumpy. 


November 29, 2010
Devin: Mom. I think I need glasses. I not see things very well. 


November 10, 2010 
Devin: Adalynn is my big sister
Me: No, Adalynn is your younger sister. 
Devin: Oh. Adalynn is my young sister. I like her now. 


October 22, 2010
In the car during a screaming match between you and Adalynn 
Me: Devin, if you don't stop screaming right now I am not taking you to the school carnival tonight. 
Devin: I'll just go by myself. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!


September 20, 2010
Watching TV and two people start kissing
Me (joking): Close your eyes Devin. 
Devin: No. Kissing is nice. It is yummy. 


September 9, 2010 
After finding a bunch of his toys in the DI box
Devin: Hey. What you do with these toys?
Me: I am taking them to DI
Devin: NO YOU NOT.
Me: Yes, Devin. We don't need them. You don't even play with them anymore.
Devin: No. You not give them away. You give them away and I spank your butt real hard.


August 25, 2010 
Devin: Your back still hurt? 
Me: Yes. I went to the Dr today but it still hurts. 
Devin: Maybe you should get a better doctor. 

July 23, 2010 
Tonight we saw "Uncle" Lynn and on our way home Devin asked "Mom, what HAPPENED to Lynn?" I asked what he meant and he replied, "Why his hair all white?" (FYI Lynne is Jared's good friend from his mission--I think he is 68ish.) 

July 26, 2010 
Devin: Mom, what is a sleepover? 
Me: It is when one of your friends spends the night. 
Devin: Oh, I want to have a sleepover with JoAnn

July 5, 2010
I took Devin to IKEA and when we made it to the children's section, he twirled, then exclaimed, "THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!" 

June 10, 2010 
Today Devin told me, "You look like an 80 year old man." 
I'm dying to know where he came up with that. 
And I really hope I don't.

June 9, 2010
Today Devin found a cockroach behind a box and after he screamed he grabbed a small box and started hitting it. Then he told the cockroach, "Game on."  

June 6, 2010
While walking through one of the casinos, I asked Devin, "Would you like to live here, Devin?" He told me, "No. It too big. And theres no beds." 

I just asked if you wanted to go to Dad's baseball game. You didn't answer so I repeated myself. Then you told, me "YES, MOM. Don't ask me again." 

April 13, 2010 
Devin: I not want to go to school today 
Me: Why not? 
Devin: My teacher mean to me. 
Me: She is? What does she do that is so mean? 
Devin (very serious): She bites me...and gives me wedgies.

May 12, 2010
Sometimes I buy those little yogurts that come with the plastic stick to turn them into Popsicles. We couldn't find the stick so I just grabbed a craft Popsicle stick from the craft box. We put it in the yogurt and then into the freezer and you exclaimed, "Oh! That worked beautifully."

March 28, 2010 
Devin: I marry Hannah when I big.
Me: Oh really? Well, what kinds of things will you do when you are married?
Devin: We do this (he puckers his lips like he is going to kiss)
Me: Laughing Alright, what else will you do?
Devin: Eat banana bread. And drink chocolate milk.